Bit Too Scary
by Zevus
Summary: Lucas decides to end it all and kills himself in Cuddy's bathtub. Warning: Happy ending.


Lucas sighed happily as the knife sliced through his tender wrist, blood spewing everywhere. The soft beat of "Love The Way You Lie" hummed in the background as he sat cross legged on Lisa's fluffy bed. As if to read his mind, blood pooled at the head of the bed and slowly ran down, leaving a small, scarlet trail that was sure to stain.

He took the switchblade that currently served as his aid and brought it down on his other wrist, a bit more awkwardly as he was not using his dominant hand. As the warm liquid ran down his arm and to his elbow, Lucas could only imagine the expression on Lisa's face when she walked into her room to find her bed bloody and torn. Of course, she would know it was him, DNA tests could prove that. But it would be traumatizing, and yes, it would be beautiful.

Lucas stood up, slicing his wrist again to ensure maximum blood spill. He had thrown the bedspread off, leaving only the silky sheets to damage. The _expensive_ silky sheets, at that. He smiled, knowing what Lisa and him had done, entangled in these silky sheets, but his face darkened at the thought of her and House doing the same things. It was disgusting.

His boots made a soft thud as he jumped off her bed, sticking the blade in its sheath, blood dripping in a soothing rhythm against the ground. He pushed open the door to the master bathroom, shoving the shower curtain away. As he climbed into the porcelain tub, he could only grin at the thought of Lisa coming home later this afternoon. The sun beat down on him from the windows as he reopened the switchblade, it popping out as a snake would jump and bite you.

He pressed the tip against his throat, closing his eyes. With one final thought, he brought it sharply against his throat, blood splattering against the walls and shower curtain. A low growl escaped his lips as the life drained out of him, his eyes darkening and body tensing.

_Lisa, I love you. I'm doing this because I love you. I have and will always, always, love you._

* * *

><p>Lisa kissed her boyfriend roughly as she kicked the door to her bedroom open, her hands grasping and clawing at her lover's neck. Their eyes were closed, so they could not see her now mutilated bed.<p>

"I want to do it in the shower." House gasped between kisses, and Lisa obediently stumbled towards her newly redecorated bathroom. He pushed her against the door, and it almost immediately gave away and they stumbled inside.

Lisa, in a sex-induced madness, quickly pushed the shower curtain away, kissing her lover's hair-covered chest.

House screamed.

There, in her bathtub, was the blood covered body of Lucas Douglas, a sweet smile plastered on his face and his throat ripped open. Lisa looked and screamed, falling to her knees and crying out of sudden shock.

House yelled for help, despite him and Lisa being the only people in the house. Lisa continued to cry, bringing her hands up to wipe the hot tears currently falling on her cheeks. As the pair stared at Lucas' corpse, his eyes suddenly shot open and his grin widened.

"Surprise!" He picked himself up, bloody and pale. All the blood had drained to one side, and he looked bruised. Lisa screamed hysterically, crying more. House attempted to hit the Lucas corpse with his cane, but Lucas only laughed. "I'm gonna kill youuuuuu." He groaned, raising up his hands in a zombie-like manner.

Lisa and House screamed, scuttling away and running into the living room. Lucas was hot on their heels, letting out low moans and high-pitched screeches, exclaiming how he was going to brutally murder them both.

House reached into Lisa's desk drawer, pulling out a pistol. He aimed it at Lucas, but out of fear his hands shaked and he accidentally shot himself. "No! No! This can't be happening!" Lisa beat her lover's chest with her fists, getting blood on her hands.

Lucas, grinning, squatted down beside her. "You and me, huh? Are you hungry? I'm hungry!" As he reached for her, Lisa pulled the pistol out of House's grasp and shot herself, her tears and newly spewed blood mixing to form a pink watery mess.

All of a sudden, Wilson and House's team jumped from behind couched and chairs, birthday hats on and presents in their hands. "Surprise!" They exclaimed, but stopped suddenly when they saw the two dead coworkers. They dropped the presents and their hats fell lopsided on their heads.

"What happened?" Screeched Wilson. Lucas frowned and shrugged, wiping the zombie makeup off his face with his shirt sleeve.

"Maybe I was a bit too scary?"


End file.
